Wrestling with ‘authenticity 2.0′ and rants about women

Welcome! Quick fyi: below was submitted as a guest post to Women Grow Business to publish week of 9/13/10.

A colleague and I recently discussed women’s self-promotion styles compared to men. Then Clay Shirky’s blog post “A Rant About Women” came up and his thought provoking remarks on the subject. His comments also sharpened my own reflections that I had resisted admitting (image Golden Reflection, Creative Commons, by Chad Galloway).

I wish Clay Shirky’s rant from earlier this year contradicted my own observations i.e. that women often threaten their own success by failing to promote themselves effectively or by avoiding that axiom “fake it till you make it.” Clay’s post said this ‘fake it till you make it’ trait is one men seem to exercise with ease and that women would do well to exercise more.

I look forward to when he’ll discuss his rant (and the consequences from it) this week at the WomenWhoTech Telesummit.

Owning up to ‘authenticity 2.0′
Even though my observations of women in many cases, especially those here at Women Grow Business, differ from Shirky’s premise – some of them also resonate. I know for sure I could be more diligent at promoting great women (and men too!), at promoting myself, at going after certain speaker submission goals (quick aside – Susan Mernit shared a great, inclusive speaking calendar that’s tech and business centric).

How are your promotion skills (for self, others)? Honestly I’d like to think my strengths are solid yet I can name plenty of instances when I suppressed self-advocacy to avoid criticism or vulnerability – recently.

A woman thing?
It can be said that avoiding vulnerability is ok and human vs just ‘a woman thing’. But could someone (or their magic wand) just share their magical always-a-confident-elegant-self-promoting-dynamo potion? I’m ready to consume…

This isn’t something that’s savory to admit out loud. But if my self-leadership is to further benefit the life it leads and those impacted by it, then I better own up to this ‘authenticity 2.0′ age we live in and admit Clay Shirky’s rant still hits home.

Be more like men?
As he also admitted toward the end of his rant, he doesn’t know the solution. That makes two of us. Should we women assert self-promotion more like men? Should we teach young women those ‘fake it till you make it’ self-promotion mentalities to better land competitive jobs? Clay Shirky thinks so and as of this writing, I give it a strong maybe.

From the vantage point of preserving authenticity, one part of me resists telling us women to model men’s behavior (image Winds of Change by Kharied, Creative Commons):

“Let our true selves ring free! Self-promote as you will (or not).” …says that inner Joan of Arc. Yet it is matched by an inner devil’s advocate that says: “Girl, you’re kiddin’ yourself. You gotta up your game and promote more like a bandit.”

Do your inner Joans of Arc and devilish advocates wrestle with eachother too? It’s unclear what teachable and generational solutions are to what is a very sensitive appraisal of our gender. There are many nuances, variables, and layers to this topic (in and beyond sexism) that Clay and many others have addressed.

How often does this topic come up in your communities?
What’s your perspective? Do you believe it is an over addressed subject or one that could be discussed more openly?

A summarized approach that’s renewing my commitment to diligently self-promote (with ideally some grace too!):

• commit to being one’s best advocate;
• assert a ‘public speech 2.0′ mentality in business and personal development. Are the great stories and strengths of your business and your expertise ready for engagement i.e. for stage delivery (a speech), a persuasive conversation (a sales dynamic or job interview), and social networks (your online community)?
• seek out strong and compelling forums (that can also be promotional environments) which engage women, like for starters, Women Grow Biz(!) and WomenWhoTech Telesummit. As mentioned Clay takes the rant to the summit on 9/15th. Full disclosure – I’m on WomenWhoTech’s advisory committee but have much respect for the incredible line-up that includes TechCrunch CEO Heather Harde and 30+ other fabulous women in tech and social media.

What’s your approach to consistent habits of promotion (for self and others)?

How do you assert public speech 2.0?

This recently was first published as a guest post to Sisarina’s Start a Biz series.

A client and business owner recently made a comment (and I admired her honesty).

She said:

“I don’t like live audiences. I want to use social media to find prospects.”
Our discussion at hand concerned her engagement strategy i.e. the relevant, public conversations and stories that could help carve out trusted, profitable relationships. We were approaching this conversation from two angles for her company: public speaking and social media.

Realizing the online-offline connection
Even though her customer base (current and prospective) heavily engaged offline as well as online, she wanted to prioritize an online approach – and exclude public speech planning since live audiences “dismantled her confidence.”

At this point, the WomenWhoTech Telesummit came to mind – a great event on 9/15th (for disclosure, I’m on the advisory board). I mentioned the summit to her for potential motivation – since many of the speakers work online, relate to my client’s industry, yet also benefit from relating a lot to public speech audiences.

Out of concern, I then said:

“In today’s environment, an audience always exists. And potential customers could be ready for your offering whether they’re online or offline or both. So does any potential customer deserve your confidence, or just those you find online through social media?”

We just looked at eachother for a few seconds.
Her vulnerable feelings about public speech warranted respect. I anxiously wondered silently if my reply was too harsh or insensitive. Certainly fear and that I’m-going-to-vomit anxiety are hard to manage when speaking in public! But it was her complete evasion of potential audiences in this forum – and thus potential customers – that inspired my concern.

It seems reasonable to say we’ve arrived at a ‘public speech 2.0′ reality
-where the engagement arena for our services and brands go beyond any single online or offline dynamic. The client eventually broke the silence and we began brainstorming how a public speech plan could fit into her overall engagement strategy.

These questions have shaped public speech strategy for my own business; and my client used them in her own development and commitment to ‘public speech 2.0′:

• What passion propelled you to start your business?
• What 3 stories, based on your experience, best express your business value (and passion for it)? What conversations are most valuable to your customers? (both those in online and offline communities)?
• How can these core stories be developed through conversational speechcraft?
• When engaging in a relaxed, one-on-one discussion – what are your conversational strengths? How do you cultivate trust in this type of informal setting? Are you a strong listener? Do you give and receive attention well? Do you maintain steady eye contact or ask targeted questions?
• In what ways can you develop and transfer your conversational strengths to stage-delivery dynamics?

What do you think about ‘public speech 2.0′?

What has helped you prepare to authentically, intentionally engage in public, whether that be through social media or a public speech onstage?

Photo by Geoff Livingston, Creative Commons

Taking the #crisiscamp stage at Red Cross: emcee @wharman @scobleizer @jocelynharmon

Video Clip: presenting at the Women Grow Business Bootcamp

Group photo by Network Solutions’ Shashi Bellamkonda, Women Grow Business blogger team at Bootcamp

As someone who helped get the Women Grow Business community off the ground over a year ago (with the great team of social media swami Shashi Bellamkonda), this particular day made such an impact on my thinking.

It was irreplaceable.

Apart of the DC region’s Digital Capital Week events, it was beyond educational and motivating with over 100 women business owners arriving early on a recent Saturday morning to learn and engage. All this equated to fantastic introductions, new friends, great resources and potential partnerships – thus the first Women Grow Business Bootcamp that wonderful editor Shonali Burke organized. There’s more here on coverage with video excerpts by the great folks at Yayastream.

What would you like to see at the next Women Grow Business Bootcamp?

What an energizing day, with 5 minutes of my closing remarks here.

Social Media Club’s Breakfast: Great Crowds, Ideas, Community

Thanks again to the Ruiz Mcpherson team for the chance to guest post this fun social media event and talk!

What a blast it was meeting recently with great folks and conversation at Social Media Club’s breakfast hosted in DC. It was great presenting there on an addictive topic: DC’s regional community. What area events bring together people offline and/or through social media? …when, why, and how? These questions were explored (and then some!) by the fun, interactive crowd and the other presenters: TECH Cocktail’s founder Frank Gruber and SMC’s Education Connection guru Yong Lee (and I shared on DC Media Makers and the blogger community Women Grow Business).

Social media love and diversity
It was early a.m. but despite that, a robust crowd was ready to engage! The breakfast attracted many parts of the social media lovin’ community — small business owners, freelancers, educators, content creators, marketers, and more. The diversity stood out and I learned a lot.

Community and social tech
The breakfast underscored a key point: DC provides so many ways to get involved with and learn from different parts of the area (in and beyond digital technology). A snapshot of those discussed:

• DC Media Makers or #DCMM on Twitter (next event/media mashup: April 28th) – a volunteer group of those who want to learn, create, and talk about digital technology. The goal is to just have fun while sharing digital projects — whether its videoblogging, filmmaking, podcasting, blogging, screencasting, or other ways to create stories and community through digital media.

• TECH Cocktail or @Techcocktail on Twitter (next event: May 5th) – a dynamic networking event series that features local startups. These events can really pack a room! It’s fantastic and gives selected startups the chance to introduce their business to many plus meet tons of tech enthusiasts, entrepreneurs, and potential funders.

• Digital Capital Week or @DCWeek on Twitter (next event: June 11th – June 20th) – a huge, inclusive festival celebrating “technology, innovation, and all things digital in Washington, DC.” A ton of events accessible to the public will take place those 10 days. No matter your experience with technology — if you’re curious, enthusiastic (or both) there’s a place for you to have fun. Folks can collaborate on digital projects, host happy hours or panelist events, donate computers to schools or organizations in need and more…

• Social Media Club’s Education Connection or #SMCedu on Twitter (next event: June 16th) – a dedicated, growing community sharing great resources about the field and asking strong questions, like: How are teachers and students improving education through social media? How can social tech change the future of education itself?

• Women Grow Business or @wgBiz on Twitter (next event to be posted on the blog) – a diverse, resourceful, and flat out fun troupe of volunteer bloggers dedicated to helping women entrepreneurs and those in small biz succeed (RMC’s Mayra is a steady fan and blogger there too!).

Want more on the breakfast and Social Media Club in general?
Thanks big time to Andi Narvaez and Rachel Rule for making the breakfast possible. There’s content galore about the event, including complete video coverage per the archived web stream with more fun video interviews by Ananda Leeke (and you’re welcome to follow SMC’s breakfast Twitter feed for ongoing chats aka #SMBdc). P.S. The Club’s blog regularly updates with social media news and events.

Pictured above are myself with Yong and Frank – image by Catherine S. Read.

3 Tips to Ensure Your Team Is Ready to Represent Offline

A small business owner and I recently discussed the growing relationship economy. And a favorite topic of ours came up: social media and the progress her team was making on that front.

She was thrilled at how her staff engaged through their Facebook fan page and a Youtube video series to engage prospect relationships and drive sales.

She then admitted something that really caught my attention.
Her savvy team was so skilled at engaging through social media. So she felt comfortable with them presenting as panelists for a small industry event.

…which didn’t turn out as she first hoped.

To her surprise, the team lacked confidence and basic skill in this public speech scenario.

She realized she had assumed their comfort and savvy in communicating online would automatically translate to offline environments.

Some ideas to audit and shape your team’s public speaking skill:

1. Assess team skill before game time.
Create chances with your team to discuss, audit, and practice public speaking skill, like in assessment and goal setting situations.

Discuss which scenarios where they’ve publicly presented – like what type of audiences, with or without co-presenters, or in vs outside your industry. Learn what topics and stories related to your business most draw out their interest. Build off that subject matter and collaborate on a plan to finesse their speaking ability.

2. Make the marketing value of public speaking a team mindset.
Are there small business events/conferences (great calendar of entrepreneurial events at Small Biz Trends), podcamps, or local meetups (in case you’re in the DC region) that would be ideal places for your business to be seen? …and be conversational forums for your team to present?

Fast Company blogger and presentation guru Ruth Sherman recently made a great point: always be ready to speak. That’s not to say folks on your staff should be ready for a 60 minute keynote at the drop of a hat.

It means that for business to succeed, the mindset ‘always be marketing’ rules the day. And the team’s ability to represent well even at the most relaxed speaking environment makes an impact.

3. Develop quick key messages for a range of speaking opportunities.
To bolster team readiness, it’s worth it to craft a mini, ongoing archive of key messages that reflect your business values, service, and industry relevance. These can be on-hand for future fleshing out for speeches or even networking events.

It’s the relationship economy.

Is your team ready to help build those relationships through authentic and skilled public speech ability?

Image Ready to Fly by Marcel Germain, Creative Commons

Do You Present Better Onstage or Online?

Fellow business owners and I met a few weeks ago to celebrate 2010. And social media came up – Twitter, Facebook, Posterous, and other platforms. We kept reveling in how easy it is to ‘just be human’ when conversing online and agreed it helps build trust with customers.

Then someone said:

“I wish I was more myself when speaking in public onstage as I am when on the Web.”

This resonated with many of us and we all paused to let his comment sink in.

Then the challenge to ourselves became: how can we better assert our development as public speakers?

Some ideas:

1. Observe your voice in relaxed environments when an audience doesn’t exist.
Social media tools used in certain ways can be great for this. Consider creating unpublished content to improve speaking skill. Use a smart phone’s audio or video device and regularly record two or three minutes of just talking to yourself (or to a willing peer). Then often review these recordings. If you want to make these informal casts public and online (like on Posterous) great! But going online isn’t the end game with these informal casts. It’s to help you recognize (and emulate) your voice when it’s relaxed and fearless.

2. Seek accountability partners and chances to speak in public.
Whether it’s through Ignite events, Toastmasters, or a small group of your trusted colleagues – commit to giving public speeches on a regular basis and receiving critique (this is separate from demos or client pitches, etc).

3. Include public speaking in your marketing strategy and developmental goals.
I suggest committing to quantity here if possible i.e. “Present five speeches in Q1.” Designate early in the year the conferences and meetups you/your team would like to present at to help pre-plan topic proposals. Here’s a diverse and per-month conference list from Susan Mernit that includes a collection of conferences dedicated to women in business – including the Women’s Leadership Forum, Blogher, NAWBO Women’s Business Conference plus those in entrepreneurship, social technology, and her interests in social cause marketing. Warning! It’s 80+ conferences that haven’t been updated yet on this post to 2010. BUT all citations link directly to conference sites that will have respective event updates as they are published (with great upcoming events announced at SCORE regularly).

How we present ourselves in conversation – online and off – is critical. The level of authenticity and skill we bring to both environments hugely influences how others respond to us (and the brand we represent).

How about you? What has helped develop your public speaking ability?

Originally published as guest blogger for SCORE Women’s Success.

Image Conversation by Rishi Menon, Creative Commons